Argh, There Be Too Many Pirates

The trilogy is finally complete, and after Santa made a visit I was able to watch the final installment. Yes you heard me right, I waited until it came out on DVD. At World’s End was just way too long for me to justify going to a theater. After now watching it, it was way too not good enough as well. So here we go with a complete and condensed review of all three Pirates of the Caribbean films.

There were many things that stood out for me within the PotC franchise. First and foremost was Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Depp had to be my favorite part of the entire trilogy. I have reason to believe that even if the PotC franchise falters, Johnny Depp will somehow become Jack Sparrow again. The character is everything anyone would want a pirate to be, granted a completely fictional pirate. Yes we all know that pirates were not as glamorous as this, but who wouldn’t want to be Johnny Depp. Not too give away too much to the three of you who have not watched At World’s End, it’s obvious the Captain will be back either in a fourth film or his own film. I also enjoyed Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) as Sparrow’s nemesis, savior, pirate buddy, and finally back to nemesis. Rush actually held his own against the wilder antics of Depp. He brings a more realistic (well at least for the films) portrayal to the pirate. And the monkey is a nice addition as well. I am also proud to say that Admiral James Norrington (Jack Davenport) gets credit for having been in Coupling and Ragetti (Mackenzie Crook) for having been in The Office (UK version).

Another aspect of the trilogy that stood out was the action. From sword fights to ship-to-ship combat, the action is big and loud. While I’m all for this, there were times I was actually bored with the action. Who cares about them on that wheel? Yet another ship beaten down by Davey Jones (Bill Nighy)? Curse of the Black Pearl gave us some intimate action sequences that were brilliant, yet never too far-fetched. As we moved on in the trilogy, the story took a back seat to the action. I was actually hoping the final fight would end sooner as my ass was getting tired of sitting there watching even more action. In this case, success breeds more directorial masturbation. Yes Gore Verbinski, that means you. We get the fact that you like action, but when does blowing things up mean more than a good story.

Obviously the answer to that is when you make At World’s End. What began as an awww cute little romance between Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley) becomes a hug steaming pile of horse manure by the end of the third film. I give Verbinski props for not going for the truly happy ending, but I still question the motive behind these two lovebirds. At first the romance was a cute distraction from the higher pirate values in the film, but each film kept trying to add depth to their relationship. This ultimately created one of the most uninteresting romances to ever grace the screen. Bloom and Knightly are more believable if each fell in love with a mirror. The love is just flat and in dire need of something more than just two lies. I thought a brilliant addition would have been earlier redemption for Admiral James Norrington and a possibility of a second worthwhile suitor. We all know Will will get Elizabeth, but at least there would be a reason to prolong the tension rather than the “they will always be together” direction. Why not introduce a lusty female pirate to challenge the manhood of Will and vie for his love? None of this Elizabeth may want Captain Jack, everyone wants him. How about adding some true depth to the romance if you desire it to play a strong second place plot line to Captain Jack Sparrow.

Finally, I want to put this trilogy into perspective. Of all of the great trilogies ever made, Pirates of the Caribbean is actually pretty good. No where near the original Star Wars, but also no where near the epic failure of the final two Matrix films. It’s obvious that a trilogy has to provide excitement in order to last; but The Lord of the Rings proved that if you have a great story, the action can be downplayed. I hate to say this, but take Johnny Depp out of this film and I do not think we would have had three films. Pirates of the Caribbean will never be a critical success, but you cannot deny the fun in the films. Even though At World’s End was way too long, I still watched the whole thing and was rewarded with one final Captain Jack Sparrow moment (as well as punished with one more Will and Elizabeth moment). Argh, now back to me rum and some images of the films.