Blocked for My Own Good

So I am sitting at work and realize that my Facebook feed is not updating. At first I think that the site itself is just down, until I check a little later. Could it be that I am being blocked from Facebook, at an academic institution! I have no doubts the reason for many workplaces banning Facebook and MySpace, I am sure my cousin could attest to the possible time suck that exists. But here I am at an academic institution where there is at least some desire and possible need for using Facebook. It could be that evil has seeped into the pipeline of information, oh wait what evil am I talking about.

Is it the evil of Facebook and MySpace addiction? That deep craving to gain more friends than Tom or see how many seizures you can induce from flashing backgrounds. Or keeping up with all your friends and what they are doing at every second of the day. (On a side note, Twitter is not blocked and I am still able to chronicle every second of my day.) Or is the evil something worse, is it that the people in charge actually want work to be completed? Fear not, a proxy is all it takes; but I really do not need to check Facebook every minute (at least not until I really need to find out if Warren Ellis will be my friend). I think there is an easy solution, nipple shocks.

Attach electrodes to workers nipples that are connected to a switch that will trip if the worker spends more than 2 minutes on Facebook at one time or visits said sites more than 2 times in an hour. We can get our fix and the higher ups can boost productivity.  Simple and elegant with just enough sadism.