I Finally Made It

That’s right folks, my family is going to be a Nielsen family for a week! I am so excited that I almost intentionally set my DVR to record every single damn episode of The Colbert Report and The Venture Brothers. I was so sure that Nielsen was a myth much like the Loch Ness Monster. There is no way that a single company can gauge the likes and dislikes of a nation by giving little boxes to people that have to sit on boxes to watch My Big Redneck Wedding. I was wrong, they also send out week long viewing diaries to other people.

So I’m thinking I could approach this two ways. Honestly keep things the same and don’t worry that an extra ten minutes of Sabrina the Teenage Witch reruns may put it back on the air or that by not watching wrestling this week it would get canceled. I could also make sure that certain favorite shows would get watched more… Oh sorry I was rubbing my hands together menacingly. That’s right, Adult Swim 24 hours every damn day of the week.

That’s when it dawned on me, I am just a little tiny one celled organism floating in the big huge pond of ratings. My votes count, but only if they add to the big shows. I can’t make Frisky Dingo have a better rating unless everyone else has an epiphany and watches it as well. So that settles it, TV watching as usual. I wonder if that means that my obsession with Hope and Faith will finally be vindicated when Kelly Ripa and Megan Fox get their own show? On second thought, perhaps a little adjusting of my viewing habits will be needed.