JCVD may not be a film that grabs everyone’s attention, but it has two major things going for it in terms of longevity: a revival of the actor, Jean-Claude Van Damme and a very strong example of Postmodernism.  That last word will take a bit of work later on, but just think about self-reflection for a bit.  In terms of Jean-Claude Van Damme, I never knew he could act!

The film is centered around the idea of a fictional Jean-Claude Van Damme being caught up in a bank robbery.  He has just lost his daughter in a custody hearing where his films and past drug use were used as examples of his bad choices.  (This is the self-reflection.)  The robbery serves as a tool to expose the media centered nature of society while presenting us with a view of the actions from multiple angles, including the robbers and the cops.  Let me add that even though this sounds all action oriented and serious, there were bits of humor that took the edge off.  Being that this is still a film, it does end on a happy note.  However, happy is a relative term.

Van Damme was incredible in this film.  He demonstrated that even though he’s the muscles from Brussels, his acting muscle may be just as big as his other ones.  We do see him throw down a bit, but it all works within the context of being a movie star that is know for his martial arts.  I hate to say that there is a tender side to all of this; but perhaps because the film is a bit autobiographical, we see that Van Damme has the ability to portray other emotions besides kicking ass or looking like he’s going to kick ass.  Until I saw the soliloquy section of the film (which I’ll revisit), I was sure that this performance was on par with Mickey Rourke’s in The Wrestler.  Well, I have to call bullshit on myself since Van Damme’s performance far surpasses Rourke’s.  This is the true revival of an actors career in my book.

The other aspect that makes this film that much better is that it enters the realm of postmodern cinema.  While there is no clear definition as I’ve mentioned many times before (if not I should have but I believe at least a small discussion on it was presented in my review of Hot Fuzz).  The film is about a real film star even though it’s not the true story or a reality show, which means it is self-referencing the idea that you are watching a parody of other so-called reality based films.  The soliloquy by Van Damme is yet another example because you get the feeling he is actually talking about his life rather than his character’s life.  This is a brilliant moment when world collide and the viewer is left wondering how much of Van Damme is in Van Damme.

Aside from JCVD being an excellent film for postmodern studies or star studies, it is an enjoyable film to watch.  You do not have to be a Van Damme fan to get it, but it certainly helps to be a fan to realize just how far Van Damme goes in the film.  For one moment of film time, Van Damme cannot fight his way out of the situation.  Perhaps losing a role to Segal because he agreed to cut off his ponytail hurts more than we know, or perhaps Van Damme realized he had more to give than a ponytail.

Reason #1: Action does not equal good story.

Pretty simple rule of thumb. No matter how much action is involved in the film it is meaningless unless it fulfills some aspects of the story. So District B13 is set in the future when Paris has become a walled off place divided into districts. Leïto (David Belle) is trying to save his district from the drug lord Taha (Bibi Naceri). In the process, Leïto outruns the thugs, has his sister (Dany Verissimo) kidnapped, thwarts Taha’s attempt, escapes and escorts Taha to the Police who then let him go with Lola and imprison Leïto. If not for the fact that this is all done with Leïto free running all over the city (buy a damn bike or escape faster). We are then later introduced to Damien (Cyril Raffaelli), a cop who now has to go to District B13 to retrieve a bomb stolen by Taha. So of course he needs Leïto. Here comes the buddy movie and more action. Kicks and punches and wall running and jumping… None of this helps explain the story. The film offers lots of glitz, but without the distraction of having to follow a storyline.

Reason #2: Good acting does not mean I kick well.

This is hard to argue since Bruce Lee seems to disprove this at times, but I think he actually acts better than many of the actors in this film. Wooden would be a kind way to discuss the acting. So imagine this, Bloodsport (or any other film from that era) with van Damme not even saying one liners. Bad news. I never got the feeling that District B13 even tried.

Reason #3: Social commentary is hard.

Here is a bone thrown District B13‘s way. There are moments of meaning hidden in the film. What would happen if we decided to wall of districts just because they had bad elements in them? Or how about we just blow them up? It provides a great entry into something meaningful. I am impressed that this was even attempted, considering reasons 1 and 2. It only comes across as meaningless social commentary, more of a tool for the types action and characters presented so that the audience has some believability.

Reason #4: Luc Besson likes to fuck with me.

He writes this film and I think to myself, “self, you liked other films he’s had a hand in even though they could get weird.” So I went into this with an open mind. Then he fucks me be giving me all of this fast paced action but without the Besson substance of The Transporter, Bandidas, or The Fifth Element. Hell, I would even throw in there Kiss of the Dragon. Most are forgettable after a few weeks, but they gave me entertainment and a little bit extra. But District B13 was so awful at times that I was glad it was short. Now I know he is not fully to blame, but too bad. Besson, give me this film with the plot of Kiss of the Dragon, the sci-fi of The Fifth Element, and Salma Hayek.

So where is the good I speak of? The action is outrageous and cool, but it gets tiring. The social commentary could have been better if it was the focus. The film looks good and the cinematographer should be commended. Thats about it. Sorry I can’t pass on the recommendation that was passed on to me, but you have better things to do than watch District B13. Wait until someone watches this and makes a better film.