One of the first things you’ll notice about Strange Wilderness is the mild attempt at bringing together a truly comedic cast and then getting the cast that they can afford. Perhaps that’s a bit too harsh, our main character Peter Gaulke (Steve Zahn) is worth a little bit more than your average actor. Now before I go on and on about the acting (which for the sake of this nature program I will not), I have to say that it’s not really bad acting but more like a bunch of guys got together and though their improv was funnier than the script. Although I get the feeling that is the case, it’s no excuse for immediately going to the raunchy or druggy humor. Everyone is stoned, we get it. In terms of the casting itself, take Adam Sandler away from any of his films and you get the basic cast of this film. However, there are two additions that may make this beast a bit more tamable. Junior (Justin Long) and Cheryl (Ashley Scott) play the two new additions to the Sandleresque cast. You know Justin Long, the Get a Mac guy. He’s the Mac. In Strange Wilderness he’s the Mac on drugs. He’s actually quite charming and has some of the funniest moments in the film, including showing off his new eye tattoos, of eyes, on his eye lids. It works much better with the visuals. Ashley Scott on the other hand annoyed me, mainly because she plays the hot bimbo that becomes one of the guys yet she’s not that hot and at that point it appears that she’s just trying to hard.

Aside from the acting, the plot and story are a bit out there but believable. At least believable for a film that’s not really all that believable in the first place. Look, the story is secondary to the humor, plain and simple. Peter’s dad was a famous nature host and now he is trying to follow in his father’s footsteps but he’s horrible and so now he’s on the holy grail of adventures to save the show. He then finds the holy grail, kills it, but it doesn’t really matter because the ending is just the point at which the director and cast give up trying to do anything. That’s right, it’s like Shakespeare deciding that Romeo and Juliet just never see each other again because if the play goes that long then Will won’t get his good ole drink on soon enough.

There’s not much more to say I’m afraid. Strange Wilderness was a diversion for about the length of the film. I’m sure I will forget most of it by the time I finish writing this review. I really want to tell you not to bother with this, but it may be worth it just to see Justin Long in an early role. Aside from that, Strange Wilderness should be put out of its misery.

So who is Ashley Scott? Take a gander.

The story of Blades of Glory is fairly simple. Two rival figure skaters take their fight one step too far and end up being banned from competition. Jimmy MacElroy (John Heder) is the orphaned child prodigy that takes to the ice like a peacock to a..uh…well he actually takes to the ice as a peacock. He represent the purity of technique and beauty. In comparison, Chaz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell) is the rock and roll skate whore (he is a sex addict) that would much rather have a beer and kick ass than talk about skate placement on a triple axle. Obviously their rivalry is like fire and ice (note the dramatic foreshadowing).

After trying unsuccessfully to live and work after being banned for life, both skaters end up meeting again. As they relax in jail after yet another fight, they are offered the opportunity to skate once again. The only problem is that it will have to be as a pairs team. Cue the sexuality jokes and start blasting “Eye of the Tiger.” So they train and compete and most importantly, become true friends (or brothers as Chaz says).

Overall the film was a good comedy. I laughed and many of the jokes which was a first for me when it came to a Will Ferrell film. The interaction between Ferrell and Heder was great and like many buddy films, was the base for the rest of plot to unfold. Each character worked their side of the fence whether it was the over sexed man meat of Chaz or the naive child that still likes snow cones of Jimmy. These parts had to be played to the hilt because so much of the comedy comes from their interaction. Speaking of acting, I really liked the way Katie Van Waldenberg (Jenna Fischer) was incorporated into the plot. There really is just something about Jenna Fischer that is appealing. It’s not the outright sexuality of a Jessica Alba but it still has the potential to capture your attention. This was definitely a step up for her career (although considering how good The Office is, it is a tough call).

One of the major problems I had with past comedies likes this (including Ferrell films) was that the over the top approach was never back with a story that made it worthwhile. Comedy can be good without a plot but it only becomes memorable when it accompanies and a good narrative. Blades of Glory has enough of a good story to to give a good review, but I’m not sure if I am ready to herald it as the next big comedy re-watcher. I still look to Monty Python and the Holy Grail as a great comedy and a great re-watcher. I hesitate to say the Blades of Glory is forgettable because it was a decent film.

Watch the film and have a good laugh. Blades of Glory should not be taken too seriously but yet at its heart is a story of two men putting aside their differences for the love of skating and each other…but only as brothers and partners…nothing else. I enjoyed the skating parts for their CGI wizardry or lack their of. I do have to give credit to Will Ferrell and Jenna Fischer for a gratuitous boob grab and a corset. I mean for making a good Will Ferrell comedy.

There was a fair amount of criticism when this film was released. Too much violence perhaps, too much racism. Wait…racism. I’m sorry but somehow a fantasy film based on a graphic novel based on a myth based on a true event seems like a difficult place to insert racism. How about the assertion that this reflects the United States and Iraq? I actually laughed and threw up a bit in my mouth when I heard that one. Let us take a step back and see why many of these ideas are filled with hot air.

First of all, the story itself is told through the eyes of Stelios (Michael Fassbender) after being sent by King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) back to Sparta. This creates the aura of myth to 300. Stelios is not necessarily telling the perfect truth, instead he is telling the perfect story. This type of storytelling harkens back to The Iliad and The Odyssey, where real events become myths where gods deal in the work of men. Most of the criticism of the film lacks weight when placed in this context. We are sitting down to hear a myth; and like many myths, this one was overdone, But in a good way.

The violence is over the top, but this is Sparta and again; a story. “Of course we beat up 3,000 guys with death masks”, instead of “well they were farmers but they had a few pitchforks.” The violence makes sense in terms of the time period and in terms of the myth-making that is taking place. The other guys have to be bigger, faster, and stronger to make the story. Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) is larger than life, much like that really big guy that mugged me. Seriously, the point is that you have a very specific viewpoint from which the narrative is presented. This explains the levels of debauchery we see from the Persians. They are the enemy, and in order to rally the troops they must be viewed as vile. This type of brainwashing happens whenever wars take place.

One part that I did find a bit out of place was the subplot with Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey). It seemed to take away from the pacing a bit, until the kill. Again, over the top but this is Sparta. Women of Sparta were tougher than the rest of the men in Greece. Even though Queen Gorgo was portrayed in a manner befitting a queen, I actually started to believe that she was written in to add eye candy.

300 was not the best film of the year, but it certainly was a fun film to watch. I was impressed with the way in which the visuals matched the graphic novel. I was also impressed that the film went for it. Keep in the violence and keep it the myth is was made to be. You know, I never even mentioned the awesome cinematography. That’s what happens when the story is good, the film just works. I really think this is a modern myth, one that will be told again and again. However, I am still not sure if the underdog aspect can convince me that the Raiders will win more than 5 games this year. For Oakland, may we lose in glory!

One of the first things that made this film dull was the story-line itself. I was excited to see the Silver Surfer, but I expected that the plot would either be straight form the comic or original. It was neither. As you moved through the story, parts of comics were thrown in with some original content. At one point you have Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) being given the ability to absorb and switch powers, which leads to the ultimate absorption of all of the FF’s powers. Even though it is interesting, I could not help but be reminded of the Super Skrull. In this instance it was as if the writers read the Super Skrull story-line and said, “Hey that’s neat let’s put it in but we need to keep the Super Skrull out of the plot.” With a weak story you really cannot expect great acting.

My expectations were fulfilled. The acting is ridiculous at times. The Silver Surfer looks great, but so did the Terminator in T2. I was really bothered by the look of the Surfer and the voice of Laurence Fishburne. I kept having Matrix flashbacks and was fully expecting the Surfer to say, “Welcome to the desert of the real.” Even though I like Jessica Alba, she looked freaky at times. The blonde hair and deep blue eyes are just not Alba to me. The best acting was turned in by Julian McMahon as Victor Von Doom. It was surprising considering how lame he was in the first film. I did get excited when they had the Doom reboot moments. I finally thought we were getting the bad-ass Doom we deserved. It was slightly short lived but he did stay true to the evil Doom comic fans have come to love.

Speaking of the actors, why do we see the faces of Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) and The Thing (Michael Chiklis)? I have no need to see The Thing as anything but The Thing. Doom should have the mask on all the time except perhaps when he needs to ogle Alba better. I really wonder if both of these actors have a clause in their contracts to allow them face time out of character within the film. I can understand that need, but some of the best characters should stand as characters, not as actors playing a character.

On to Galactus. I did hear rumors about the let down of Galactus, but I thought I would give them a chance since seeing the Galactus from the comics may have been just as bad. At first, I was impressed with the atmospheric space effects allowing for the fingers of Galactus to appear around the world. I began thinking that perhaps everyone was wrong. That was until they raided Twister’s special effects and gave us a tornado rather than an all-powerful being of planet destruction. I was half expecting Johnny Storm to throw out a “Look cows!” line. Not too mention that the hour and a half build-up led to a five minute moment of, “Oh, why didn’t I think of that” by the Surfer to end the film.

Beyond much of the negative criticism, I do have to say that the humor was spot on and corny. I always thought the FF comics were great for one-liners and kiddie fights between Johhny Stom and The Thing. This film did have me laughing at their antics. So, kudos for the corny humor that will never carry a movie by itself.

Anyways, my review may have been better if this would have been a renter. The first film was better than I was led to believe, but after paying way too much; the second was not worth it. I would rather pay a few dollars and just watch Jessica Alba, which I do every time I watch Dark Angel. She may not be the best actress. but there are always moments I cherish in any film with her in it. Just so everyone knows what I am talking about, here is Jessica Alba in glasses. I think I was giddy. I was surprised that the filmmakers gave her this same scene in both films. I guess they wanted everyone to believe she was not just hot but also smart. Um, sure. Mind you, if Jessica Alba is reading this I do think you are smart…and hot.

To wrap this up, rent it and do not expect too much. The Silver Surfer is a good addition and so is a scene with Alba in Japanese garb, but give me Doom. Give me the corny jokes and cheesy lines, but do not give me lame plots and really bad-ass clouds.

Let us first start with a movie I did want to see but just couldn’t watch. You all know those movies, you just keep waiting and waiting until finally it gets in the DVD player. Oldboy is one film where the description is actually more interesting that the film. Your drunk on the street and get kidnapped. You are then thrown into some type of prison for 15 years. You are then released and have five days to figure why. It just sounds cool. The film is interesting, until you start finding out why he was imprisoned, then it drags a bit. The concept really carries the film, while the very slow dramatic ending and explanation could have been shortened to create a very solid hour and a half film rather than a two hour yawner towards the end. You know, this is just one of those films that I wanted to watch, I enjoyed it, but wasn’t really blown away by. Perhaps the self-induced wait made my expectations too high. However, the film was good enough to get me interested in Chan-wook Park’s newer film Sympathy for Lady Vengeance.

Now on to the I thought it would suck but since my expectations were so low I enjoyed it film, The Fantastic Four. Beyond the fact that this was a comic book film, I really never had any intention of watching it. But some of my students told me that Jessica Alba was only wearing her bra and panties in one scene. I therefore decided that I should investigate this claim. The film was entertaining, especially the acting of Johnny Storm (Chris Evans). It was dead on with the comic. Every other actor was just okay in their roles, no one else blew me out of the water. I did see the Jessica Alba scene, but I was more turned on by her wearing her I am a serious and smart chick because I wear glasses scene. Oh Jessica, I am sad to say that your effect on me is waning but every time I feel that it is totally gone, you reinvent yourself. Okay so what I just said was – she is hot. The special effects were kinda crappy, especially Doom’s. The storyline was there, but as with many first comic book movies it really lacked anything exciting. It was fun to watch and Jessica Alba is hot (here’s to her in the next Sin City).

Now for the last one – Bride and Prejudice. So here we go with a brief explanation, uh… It is a Bollywood film about love with really hot chicks, foreigners that don’t get the culture, and Sayid (Naveen Andrews from Lost) singing and dancing. That’s right Sayid dancing! This film is notable because it stars Aishwarya Rai’s debut in a film outside of India. I watched this after my Alba experience, but Rai is just intoxicating. The film is just fun, what more can I say. The plot is formulaic and dull, most of the acting is just okay, and there is no real innovation. Now ignore all of that and go watch the film. I found myself giggling like a little girl and being sucked into the whole romance. Yes he gets the girl and everyone comes together in ethnic nirvana, but who cares. I really enjoyed just the subtle nature of the entire film, a very tongue-in-cheek look at Bollywood.

So there you go, three power packed reviews all wrapped in one extra tight package (think Alba). I really have no clue what film I’ll watch next, however the Netflix roulette seems to provide for some interesting viewing.